Inside This Guys Head…

This was written my beautiful bride of 8 years (today!), Alison. May her thoughtfulness bless you as she shares some of our story.

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A number of years ago, Fred and I went through premarital counseling with Jim Brinkerhoff, my campus minister from Auburn. His first statement at the beginning of the session was “Marriage is hard work.” In my naïve, “I’m currently planning a wedding, getting into shape, and trying on wedding bands” phase, I felt my mind snicker. Not that I didn’t believe him, but if you love someone, what makes marriage hard work? In my short 8 years (as of today), I have begun to understand what makes Jim’s statement so true. It isn’t the lack of love; it’s the reality of life. It’s moving to 3 different cities in various parts of the country. It’s buying and selling 3 homes during those moves and starting over each time with no one but your spouse. It’s releasing your mom to the Lord and dealing with the heartache of her absence. It’s being unemployed, changing jobs, and Fred currently being bi-vocational in ministry so I can stay home with our son. It’s having 2 miscarriages. It’s delivering our precious, healthy son. It’s learning how to parent. It’s wanting more children but not having that prayer answered at the moment. It’s sleepless nights with a crying baby and exhausted days with a busy toddler. It’s wanting time for yourself and a clean house with no dirty laundry. It’s adjusting to the various seasons of your life while attempting to be the spouse and parent God has called you to be. It’s accepting unmet expectations and releasing yourself from the pressure those expectations seem to cause. It’s an array of thoughts and feelings that come from your own experiences in life and in marriage. Your marriage.

So how does marriage work? If you’ve been married a lot longer than I, bear with me. But from what I can tell it’s having date nights at your favorite restaurant. It’s Netflix Friday night movie night. It’s weekend trips away. It’s random text messages throughout the day. It’s dinner at the table as much as possible. It’s coffee, muffins, and cartoons on Saturday mornings. It’s sporting events. It’s concern for one another’s dreams. It’s a listening ear that doesn’t interrupt. It’s saying “I may not understand why you’re upset, but I understand you.” It’s being compassionate in the midst of failure. It’s holding one another accountable to the calling of Jesus. It’s speaking God’s love into one another’s lives. It’s being their biggest fan. It’s sharing your thoughts and feelings, even if you aren’t “made that way.” It’s secrets that no one else knows. It’s offering forgiveness and being forgiven. It’s being quiet. It’s laughing…a lot. It’s defending your spouse even when others aren’t. It’s saying “I’m sorry” when you’ve let them down or been wrong, even if you thought you were right. It’s knowing what’s worth the fight and what isn’t. It’s knowing that only God’s love is perfect and grace and mercy surely abound. It’s compliments and compromise. It’s witnessing another’s life. It’s marriage. And it’s hard work. Have we mastered this list? Not at all. Do we try? Absolutely. Do we fail? Of course. But not one day has passed in the last 8 years that has ever caused me to question or rethink saying “I do,” and in God’s grace, nothing ever will.

I wrote this today to express my thoughts on marriage, but more importantly, to tell others what Jim so bodly told us: Marriage is hard work. Loving another unconditionally takes more than a beautiful dress and perfect flower arrangements. Wedding days are wonderful and fantastic and certainly something to be excited about, but the days after create your home, your life, and the lives of those you bring into it. So say “I do” with joy and expectation and take your marriage seriously. Marriage is hard work, but the work is worth the joy of having a healthy, happy life with the person you love.

Barwessa is a place with a very small population in the state/region of Rift Valley, Kenya. In this village of men, women and children, water and food was scarce. Well, okay, scarce understates the situation. The nearest water source was at least fifteen miles away. And instead of providing refreshment, it provides typhoid.

Can you imagine? No water. No food. No rain. No water? I have a faucet I can turn on anytime. No food? I live within a 10 mile radius of at least four grocery stores, and two miles from a Food Lion. Not to mention I have a refrigerator filled with food and a pantry full of non-perishables. No rain? As I write it is sprinkling. I don’t know about you, but I cannot imagine. No water. No food. No rain. Just sickness. Hunger. Thirst. Hopelessness. Until love and grace overflowed from the hearts of workers and volunteers through a compassion relief organization called CRF (Christian Relief Fund).

This is how love and grace works. They plant a mango farm. They build bee hives. They start new schools for orphans. They bring in tons of food. And they drilled a water well for the community almost fifteen miles closer than the water that was giving them typhoid.

This is how people who are gripped by the love and grace found in Jesus Christ respond. This is how CRF works.

And this is what I am reminded of: when God’s love and grace flood a place, nothing and no one remains the same.

I thank God for CRF and the work they do in the world. But most of all I thank God for His love and grace that in His name, has the power to change the world.

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You can get involved in the work CRF is doing and play a significant role in dealing out grace, hope and change: www.christianrelieffund.org

Also check out the blog of my dear friend, mentor and President
of CRF, Milton Jones for great stories of love and grace seen “through orange colored glasses”: www.miltonjonesblog.com

At Williamsburg Christian Church we celebrate the Eucharist weekly. For us this celebration never gets old or mundane. The Lord’s Supper reminds us of who we are because of Who Christ is. It reminds us of what He brings to us from a blood-stained cross and empty tomb. In partaking in this weekly Communion our eyes are opened to the reality of God’s Kingdom and the light the shines from its glorious Gospel.

Tom Light is a dear friend, brother and member of our church family. This is a communion meditation he shared with us a couple of weekends ago. It is simple and held together by a deep understanding of Scripture. Perhaps meditations like his will help you understand why we feel that we must celebrate this beautiful event weekly.

“I like Twilight.  Many today may think of the movie and book series, but my name is Thomas William Light, and the name can be shortened to Twilight.  In my military days, we were taught there are two kinds of twilight—evening and morning twilight.  The evening twilight represents the time when the light of the sun has completely left the sky.  Morning twilight is that time when the light of the sun returns.  Twilight can represent both an ending…and a beginning.

Isaiah 59:  “So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us.  We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows.  Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes.  At midday, we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.”

John 1:  “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.   In him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.”

John 3:  “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”

There will come a day when we no longer need the light of the sun—S U N—for the light of the Son—S O N—the Lamb of God, will shine on the new Jerusalem.

Revelations 21:23:  “The city does not need the sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its Lamp.”

For he bore the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors.  An end of the old covenant and a beginning of the new covenant—in his body, and his blood.  And the darkness of His death is offset by His resurrection, and the light He brings to the world.”

I’ve been reflecting on how God’s love revealed to us in Jesus Christ is meant to perfect us, not pamper us. His love is a soul-forming, mind-shaping, heart-filling, life-changing love. It is a love gentle enough to love me right where I am, yet unyeilding enough to move me into what I was (re)created to become in Jesus. It is a love deep enough to reach every shame, yet wide enough to cover every sin.

God’s love is a verb-kind of love. It is felt, known and seen, both in actions and words. It is a Divine love disclosed in Jesus Christ, declared by Jesus Christ, and demonstrated through Jesus Christ. John a devoted lover of Jesus, once said that God is love. Paul a devoted lover of God, once said that Jesus is the image of the invisible God, meaning Jesus is God. And this Jesus is the promised Redeemer King of Israel as prophesied in Hebrew Scripture. He was crowned with thorns at His death, crowned with glory at His resurrection, and crowned as Lord of all as He ascended back from whence He came, Heaven. In Jesus, God revealed His own love for us.

It is a Divine love. It is a true and faithful love. It is a gracious and merciful love. But is not a pampering love. It is a perfecting love meant to transform us from the inside out and give birth to Kingdom-shaped lives.

Have you ever come to the end of a conversation and all you could say was “Wow?” I do not mean out of excitement. I am talking about sadness or bewilderment. You find that it is the only response you can muster. Lately, I have experienced many of these conversations with Christ-followers living all over these United States. But before I take this any further, please allow me to hang a little backdrop.

As a Jesus-follower, I am called by the Jesus I follow to, well, follow Him. As one of the wonderful senior ladies from our church explained, “I am not called to be impressed by Jesus. I am called to imitate Him.” To say it a different way, I must learn to listen, trust, obey and enjoy Him. Now on to the backdrop.

One day Jesus was asked by a religious expert (ironically), “Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?” Jesus said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. (But for Jesus that wasn’t it. There was something inextricably connected to “loving God.”) Jesus said, “The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (And here is perhaps the most controversial, mind-boggling, worldview-challenging statement of all) “All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” All the Law and Prophets? All 613 commands in the Torah (Genesis – Deuteronomy), plus the rest of the Old Testament? All of it hangs–rests or places their weight–on these two simple commands? Sure, I could see the “love God” part. But the “love your neighbor” piece? Back to my post.

As a Christ-follower I have been called to embrace both. As a “preacher” I have to teach both. I cannot escape one without the other in my life, much less as a preacher/teacher/pastor in King Jesus’ church. But here is what I find to be true and often leaves me saying “Wow.” Church-folk (that includes me) are almost always fine with conversations that center around loving God. We expect it. It makes sense. But conversations that center around “loving neighbor,” well, lets just say that can cause a bit of trouble.

Love your neighbor. Neighbor. This isn’t about proximity. This is about mercy extended to any fellow human being created in the image of God. So Jesus says, “love your neighbor.” Your loud neighbor. Your rude neighbor. Your enemy neighbor. Your muslim neighbor. Your gay neighbor. Your straight neighbor. Your partying hard neighbor.Your democrat neighbor. Your republican neighbor. Your doesn’t-look-like-me-or-act-like-me neighbor. Your neighbor with a different skin color. Your neighbor who lives half a world away. Your rich neighbor. Your poor neighbor. Your. Neighbor. My neighbor. Remember the story behind the all famous good Samaritan? Remember what made him “good.” He was a good neighbor who loved his neighbor.

But what does “love your neighbor” look like? It can take on many forms. Regardless of how you or I decide what loving our neighbor looks like, one thing is sure: love is a verb. It requires action. It requires me to put skin on the compassion I feel in my heart. It requires me to be a good neighbor by doing good for and to my neighbor, even if they didn’t merit or “deserve” it. It is exactly what God Himself did in the Incarnation (God becoming man in Jesus). Nonetheless many often balk at this whole “love your neighbor” idea. Not at the command itself, but rather when we begin talking about specifics.

Proverbs 3:28-29 “Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go away! Come back later. I’ll give it tomorrow”—when it is there with you. Don’t plan any harm against your neighbor, for he trusts you and lives near you.”

Proverbs 14:31 “The one who oppresses the poor insults their Maker, but one who is kind to the needy honors Him.”

Proverbs 25:18 “A man giving false testimony against his neighbor is like a club, a sword, or a sharp arrow.”

This blog does not have the space to list all the Proverbs, Psalms and other Hebrew Scriptures (especially Deuteronomy and the “minor” Prophets) that speak to this idea. And for those of us who need New Testament references I cannot forget Jesus’ words in Matthew 25:31-46 (just to give one of many discourses). Or Paul’s words in Romans 13:8-10 or Galatians 6:10 (just to give a couple of his many thoughts on the subject). Then there is James’ understanding of what true “religion” is in James 1:26-27.

So this is what I have (re)learned: everyone is okay to talk about what it means to “love God.” But when it comes to talking about what it means to “love your neighbor,” sometimes people’s responses just leave you saying, “Wow.” Sometimes it even gets you in trouble. But when I think about Jesus, its worth it. I hope you find it worth it too.

Much ado is made about Christ during the Christmas season. You see it everywhere, from Facebook to Twitter to bumper stickers to refrigerator magnets, all adorned with phrases such as “Jesus is the reason for the season” or “keep Christ in Christmas.” Then there is the music!

Now it is the day after Christmas and all we are left with is great memories, stuffed bellies, and new things. Christmas has come and gone, along with all the hyper-active talk about Jesus and, for many, the passionate, intentional focus on the Christmas Story. Personally, I can live without the abundance of hyper-active “keep Christ in Christmas” Facebook statuses and bumper stickers. But I can not live without the Christmas story. Especially the day after Christmas. So with that in mind, I offer you 12 truths of Christmas day-after:

1.  The day after Christmas we remember the truth of the Incarnation, that the “Son of God became a man so that we could become sons and daughters of God” [1]; “He became the Son of Man so that God could dwell in man.” [2]

2.  The day after Christmas we remember that even in God’s silence, He is listening, working, and moving for our good and His glory.

3.  The day after Christmas we remember that the King of the Universe began His work of making His Kingdom available to all when He entered into our messy world through a messy stable so that our messy lives could be forever changed.

4.  The day after Christmas we remember that God can always be found when we seek Him, but He is often found in the most unexpected of places.

5.  The day after Christmas we remember that big movements of God often have the smallest of beginnings.

6.  The day after Christmas we remember that love is wrapped up in a blanket of grace and rests in a manger of mercy…and so do our lives.

7.  The day after Christmas we remember that we love because God first loved us.

8.  The day after Christmas we remember that the kind of love God gives is the same He requires: unconditional, humble, sacrificial and faithful.

9.  The day after Christmas we remember that Jesus is not really the “reason for the season,” as much as He is the reason for life.

10.  The day after Christmas we remember that the true way to keep Christ in Christmas is to keep Him as King of your heart and Lord of your life.

11.  The day after Christmas we remember that the world is a dark place in need of Light; Jesus became the Light of the World so we would let the light of Jesus within us shine, as we love Him and love all people in both word and deed.

12.  The day after Christmas we remember that in Jesus, God brought heaven to earth and has called us to live in such a way that we do the same.

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1. St. Anthanasius of Alexandria, A.D. 296 – 373

2. St. Augustine of Hippo, A.D. 354 – 430

Christmas day? One week away? Already? For some this is a season of joy that celebrates family, giving and receiving. For others this is a special time to celebrate the birth of the Savior and God’s ultimate expression of love for the world (though it is still debated as to the exact date that Jesus the Christ was born which most scholars believe was late fall or early spring). Still, for others Christmas is a celebration of both. Either way, what begins with joyful anticipation somehow turns into a season of stress, good cooking (which I am not complaining about) and shopping lists. I get both excited and tired just thinking about it. Sadly though, on December 26 many of us are left with the stark reality of presents to return, decorations to pack, and more credit card bills. Is this what we really want out of Christmas? What if it could be about something more joyful and lasting?

Almost 2000 years ago the God of heaven and earth changed both human history and future when he subtly crashed into the present. He changed the world with a revolutionary love full of promise and hope. But this revolutionary love wasn’t in the form of a word or statement. It was in the form of a baby — a fully human, fully God, newborn baby. It was the Advent (the coming or arrival) of a new world; a world where sin, brokeness, pain, and death would no longer reign and dictate the human heart. It was the Advent of a new order of life; one of love, grace, justice, compassion and generosity. This Advent was a divine move that fully proclaimed His divine mission of redemption and restoration. It was God’s subtle way of putting skin on love, grace, compassion and generosity that offers salvation to all of humanity. He was beginning His work of redeeming and restoring all of creation. It was Jesus the Lord, Savior and King. It is good news. It is the Gospel: that through King Jesus, the One who fulfill’s Israel’s promises found in the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament), God is inviting all of humanity to receive His redemptive salvation and new life of hope, love, mercy and grace. In King Jesus, God is inviting humanity to join in His mission to become His creative influence for redemption and restoration by declaring and demonstrating this Gospel. This means both proclaiming and practicing God’s way of life as modeled and taught by Jesus and New Testament Scripture. Or to put it another way, it looks like doing whatever it takes to deal out hope to the hopeless, love to the loveless, mercy to the merciless, and compassionate generosity to those in need.

If you really want the greatest gift you could ever receive, the Creator of heaven and earth offers it to you in Jesus Christ, the reconciling, redeeming and restoring King. Really. Consider Him. Lay aside what the preachers say and who other christians claim Him to be (even this one). Jesus will always be Jesus, and though He will come to live inside our “hearts,” He will never live inside our preferences. He is Jesus. So I invite you to read the book of John in the bible and see Him for yourself. If you don’t have a bible (or one that reads in language similar to the way we actually speak in 2011), then email me and I will send you one.

If you want to give the greatest gift you can ever afford, find meaningful ways to give others hope, love and compassion. These gifts can make a lasting difference and point to the greatest Gift of all.